Dear Mr. Police Chief Mark Kessler of Gilberton, Pennsylvania,
Finally! A cop–a police chief even–who believes in the freedom of speech! So I suppose that if you pulled me over in Pennsylvania, I could call you a retard cocksucker and tell you to go fuck yourself and take it in the ass and you’d be just fine with that. Because you are clearly a real man’s man, the kind of tough macho man who anyone can assume can take it just as well as he can dish it out. How refreshing!
Oh, but wait, I see you say these things just before letting it rip with a really big gun. Are you scared to say what you want without a big gun in your hand? Are you a pussy, Mr. Police Chief Mark Kessler? No, that’s just not possible. You’re filming somewhere out in the wild, so at least you’re a tough outdoorsy man, right? And strong, too, to hike in with a video camera, not to mention a big gun like that. Those things aren’t light.
No wait, here you come with another, even bigger gun. And then another, and then another relatively tiny one. My guess is you didn’t hike for tens of miles into this outdoorsy spot in your real-man hiking boots, with all those guns in your backpack. I bet you drove in, in a huge truck with compensatingly big tires that nevertheless still only needs a pinky finger to turn on the blinker, just like my libtard car.
Oh, and Mr. Police Chief Mark Kessler, if you insist on showing us the inside of your fascinating mind on a regular basis, here’s a tip: Don’t show the smallest gun last. There’s something called “building it up”. Going mental with two big guns first and then showing your insane self with a much smaller gun is kind of, well, pathetic.
Though, if your intent was to make a deep, thoughtful video with lots of layers, then I take it back. Pathetic perfectly reflects what you are apparently about. You’re angry; I get that. But you’re also a very small, very scared little man, because otherwise you’d be able to tell people you’re angry without showing them how big your guns are.
I’m assuming the libtards you refer to are people working to get some gun sense in this country. Have you ever noticed how they say what they want to say without big guns in their hands, without leaning back, feeling the need to suggest that their penises are two feet long?
So why don’t you grow up, grow a pair of balls and man the fuck up, Mr. Police Chief Mark Kessler of Gilberton, Pennsylvania?
A real cop has the standard issue gun which he/she never has to take out of its holster because he/she can handle the situation just fine without one. A real man has a vocabulary that goes beyond “fuck” and “cocksucker”. A real defender of liberty doesn’t intimidate people in videos showing his fire power like Hitler and Stalin and that other smallish guy in North Korea. A real believer in freedom of speech doesn’t fall so completely apart mentally as you demonstrate yourself doing when receiving criticism.
Here’s what I suggest, Mr. Police Chief: hand in your toys, go to school and get a vocabulary, then go to the local community college and train for a job you can actually handle. Then get said job and hopefully you’ll be too busy from then on doing actual work to embarrass yourself like this all the time. Believe me, you’ll be a lot happier.
Barbara Backer-Gray, Libtard in Austin, Texas