Okay, I’m doing it again: turning a response to someone else’s post into my own post. Lazy, lazy!
On Freshly Pressed I came across TDYLF and the post “To Pee or Not to Pee”.
Yes, so you could just read the post and look for my comment, but then I’d have to think of something else to write. So just read his post, and read my response here. I had fun doing it.
And note to self: must make a flowchart of something. That’s a pretty neat idea. Thanks, TDYLF for all the inspiration!
So here’s my response to the Shakespearean question when and whether or not to pee at the movies:
Oh good-looked Depp, oh Depp with hair so black,
Oh Depp, whichever act except when thou act not.
But alack, alack!
I fear one’s manners are forgot.
What see I? No Johnny do I see!
Oh vile moviegoer, that slides between Depp’s eyes and mine,
Cursed be thy need for thus distracting me!
Must thou make me miss line after line?
Mine eye, in fine frenzie rolling,
Doth glance from screen to thee and from thee to screen,
Mine blood in wild fury boiling.
If thou must pee,
The preview is thine cue.
Get thee to a lavatory,
Do what thou must do.
But go thee straightway ere the movie starts,
And play with speed thine tinkling tune.
Then take thine place with gracious grace,
If thou wouldst escape mine serpent’s tongue,
That I may see Depp’s voice and hear his beauteous face,
The entire blessed movie long.