Load up, Boys, It’s the Asian Menace Again!


image from breitbart.com

image from breitbart.com

Okay, finally I’m getting around to the post about Red Dawn.I think it’s no coincidence that it was remade around this time.

In every instance of mass shootings in America in the past decades, there have never been more than two shooters.  So an experienced gun owner wouldn’t need more than two bullets. A hunting rifle would suffice.

The only legitimate reason I can think of to have assault weapons as protection is for mowing down hordes of zombies. But newsflash: zombies aren’t real. Or if you have to mow down large numbers of invading North Korean soldiers as in the recent movie Red Dawn. But that scenario isn’t any more likely than being attacked by hordes of zombies.

Let’s just say, for argument’s sake that the North Koreans manage to get all the way to America without the American air force noticing and shooting them down, and suppose they then manage to very quickly destroy the entire American army. What would happen the moment the regular North Korean grunts land and unbuckle their parachutes?

The very first grocery store they came across would be seriously raided. They would eat more than they have ever eaten in their lives, and for the next few hours they would be sleeping, dead to the world.

When they are sleeping off their binging session, you have time to decide which of two strategies to follow. You can shoot them all in their sleep. That gives everyone time to go home, get their shotgun, and at the count of three everyone just shoots one guy. One bullet, that’s all.

Or you could just wait for them to wake up and say, “Hi there, welcome to the good ole US of A. We were just about to throw some steaks on the grill. Care to join us? Have a nice cold brewsky?”

I suspect that that would be the end of the North Korean occupation.

Still not convinced? You believe that the North Koreans are so totally indoctrinated that they will continue following the little fat guy’s orders, even in the face of Buffalo Wild Wings and Dairy Queen Blizzards? And you think that it would then be up to the general population to organize a resistance and shoot North Koreans wherever they are?

Because that’s what the heroes do in Red Dawn. They simply get a lot of weapons and shoot and explode their way back to freedom. Thank God and the NRA for those assault weapons, right?

Wrong. Here is where it helps to know a little history. Like World War Two history.

When the Germans occupied the Netherlands, there was a resistance. And they had some guns. But they couldn’t go around killing Germans, because for every German or sympathizer killed, the next day the Germans would line up fifty random men, women and children on the street and execute them.

In the former Yugoslavia, the Germans took the most important and well-known people of each village hostage. And if the resistance killed a German, the Germans would kill these mayors, teachers and doctors they kept in the local jail for just that purpose.

I know it may be hard for some Americans to fathom that not everything is about simply having the biggest guns, but there you have it. And that’s also why every single real resistance story is better than Red Dawn.

Red Dawn is a ten-year-old boy’s dream of what he and his friends would do if America was occupied. It’s heroic but silly. Certainly not the kind of narrative to base the individual’s need for assault weapons on.

13 responses to “Load up, Boys, It’s the Asian Menace Again!

  1. You make an excellent point. It’s about so much more than a shoot-out.

    I had an argument with someone on Facebook about this… she actually thought the “enemy from overseas” would come to get us…http://thelifeofkylie.com/2012/12/28/grim-satisfaction/

    I should send her your post if I thought logic would make any impact.

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  2. Mike Ignatowski

    Wonderfully well written, especially the historical references and the phrase “a ten-year-old boy’s dream…”. I probably would have just reviewed the movie with two words “Gun Porn” without giving it any more creative thought.

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    • Well, that also just about covers it. Because what bothers me is the the almost wishful, misplaced sense of nostalgia that must have been the basis for this movie, and the first one. The almost wishing such a scenario, so some guys can play soldier.

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  3. If I may make a point correction. Dutch resistance groups, as well as those groups from other countries, were indeed involved less with offing the occassional German soldier because of repraisals, as you said, and far more active in logistical sabotage or simply information gathering and intelligence espionage. The recipient of all that information was a central source… generally British intelligence or the American OSS. It helped immeasurably in preparing for the various Allied military strikes that led to victory (Market-Garden is a whole other story). But in a battle where your enemy might have some battlefield advantage it has not been uncommon to fight back in guerilla warefare style; kill as many as you can from behind a tree rather than in a long line face to face where you are sure to loose. We did that against the British and the Viet Cong did that to us. Point being, when there is no one to send information to who might use the information to achieve a military victory, then the only way to kick out the bastards is to shoot ’em yourself. So it is historically conceivable for resistence people to want to fight back, ala Red Dawn versions 1.0 and 2.0 style.

    But.. having said all that, yeah, it’s a real stretch to presume even the fantasy of Cubans, with Soviet help, racing up from Central America and invading the U.S., as in version 1.0. Even more rediculous in imagining North Koreans doing that in version 2.0. The Swayze version at least had an overt approach as being a totally Second Amendment propaganda statement. The 2012 version was simply a kid’s “video game” with little or no substance of any kind (although cool special affects).

    Imagine any foreign military trying to take over a nation with as many guns in circulation as the total population. Then imagine every one of those gun owners acting on their own because they all want to be their own authority. Heck, just the crossfire between gun owners would eliminate any enemy! 🙂

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  4. Marie-Jacqueline

    Aren’t those films just plain stupid?
    I find this type of film making war something adventurous, the good guys against the bad guys and very one-sided also.
    It is always the foreigner is the danger lurcking to destroy the US.

    Just look at the many tv-shows made in the US of A.
    The one that can’t be trusted, the who’s done it, and there is a role for a foreigner, he/she has done it or at least one of the sispects.

    What really gets me going is when in a US film an American is arrested abroad.
    Immidiatly they start to scream and shout about his/her rights!
    The way the foreign country is portrait, grrrrrr!!!

    It is good that you are very clear about the realities of war.
    War is brutal!

    Did you see the movie “Oorlogswinter”?
    Mayors, doctors etc. were killed in the Netherlands to.
    But ofcourse also those that you were mentioning; those just taken out of their houses, just people passing by etc.

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    • Indeed. Yes, I always snicker a little when an American says in a film: “You can’t do that–I’m an American!” It shows just how Americans think the rest of the world views them, and how the earth falls out from under them when they find out none of it’s true.

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  5. Right on, Barbara. Red Dawn is far more unreal than that escapist though entertaining fantasy Skyfall. An aside: Daniel Craig is the best James Bond since Sean Connery. Back to the main point: only those who know nothing of the real world would find Red Dawn even remotely believable.

    Een gelukkig en voorspoedig nieuw jaar!

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  6. With so many good stories to choose from that have never been made into film (or that could stand a retelling), I don’t understand why people would choose to remake a cheesy movie like Red Dawn. I enjoyed the first one but I was in high school at the time and even then I recognized it for what it was – a campy fantasy for teenagers raised during the Cold War (with some good-looking, popular young actors thrown in for fun).

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