Santa Baby: Immortality After the Apocolypse


img543_edited-1I just decorated the Christmas tree with R today–my back was giving me shit for a week–and then I turned on the news. And started bawling. But I won’t say anything about the shooting. Everything has already been said. Over and over and over, for years.

So here’s something completely different, the type of thing you get when an atheist and a believer in God get married and have children.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know that I’m an atheist. T was brought up Episcopalian, but he doesn’t believe in organized religion anymore. He does believe in God and thinks we’ll go to heaven when we die. I think he’s setting himself up for disappointment, but oh well.

When R was about five, she was beginning to ask about death. T told her his version: that we go to heaven and hang out there forever and a good time is had by all. I told her that I believe that dead is dead, and that that’s why it’s important to make the most of life.

At the same time her older brother B was fascinated with the idea that not only the dinosaurs went extinct, but that we will be extinct at some point, as well. R was not happy about that.

So she created her own narrative: Santa lives forever, so she would simply marry Santa when she grew up. That would make her immortal as well. Then, when humans became extinct, she and Santa would have a million Santa babies, and thus repopulate the earth with lots of little immortals, all dressed in red and white.

Ho Ho Ho. Beat that, Jesus!

5 responses to “Santa Baby: Immortality After the Apocolypse

  1. Hahaha, the logic of kids 🙂

    Like

  2. Really hooked me with that awesome title. Fun resolution. Kids tell the best stories.

    Like

  3. That’s excellent! And just what we need . . . a bunch of fat jolly elves running around with Ho!Ho!Ho! ever at the ready.

    Like

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