Hi There!

(For my Dutch-English translating and proofreading business, please go to D-E Translating. You can also go to my D-E Translating WordPress site. Thank you.)

Welcome to my blog.

I’m an energetic, slim, reasonably pretty thirty-year-old. However, I reside in a rather shocking, obese, aching, apathetic 53-year-old body. I love living in Austin but I’m chock-full of criticism of America in general. The Rockies bring me to tears, but so does the health care system. I’ve adopted Thanksgiving, but not the Pledge of Allegiance. If I seem elated and unbearably grouchy in sometimes schizophrenically quick succession, this is why.

I love the usual: my husband, my children, my friends and our pets. I hate heat; stupidity; bone spurs; spiders; and walking, cycling and stair-stepping in place.

I collect raft books and I’ve developed a weird obsession with the bottoms of bridges.

When I lived in the Netherlands, twenty years ago, I loved hot tea, wild camping in Great Britain, gardening, reading for days on end, and I walked and cycled everywhere. Now that I live in a pretty darn hot part of the US, with kids that have to be driven everywhere by car, I love reminiscing about hot tea, wild camping in Great Britain, gardening, reading for days on end and walking and cycling everywhere…

My blog is a crazy—some might say completely unhinged–collection of posts about any of the above-mentioned issues and then some. Nothing is sacred. I blatantly ignore all American no-nos. Which means I talk politics, religion, I don’t idolize  teachers and I swear (but not that much).

As you read my posts you might laugh, seethe, weep or shrug your shoulders. If you like a post, great. Let me know. If you hate a post, great, let me know. I’d like to think I’m always right, but don’t let that stop you from telling me if you disagree. We Dutch love a good argument.

If you want to know more about how I ended up in America and an overview of how that’s been, visit my About page.

Otherwise, have at it!

(In my posts, I refer to my husband as T, my 17-year-old son as B, and my 14-year-old daughter as R.)

The Blackbirds in the Pie

image: space.com

image: space.com

Yesterday’s NaPoWriMo prompt was to write a poem for children. Here’s mine.

Old Mother Hubbard, who lived in a shoe,
Had so many blackbirds, but no stew.
She put them in a pie and said rub-a-dub-dub,
Gave it to the dog and put him in a tub.
The dog had a great fall and hit a clock,
The pie flew through the sky and went into shock.
That’s how the blackbirds avoided the spoon
And the spoon went over the moon, the moon, the moon,
Yes, the spoon went over the moon.

Emperor Wu’s Teenage Diary

image: almanachdegotha.org

image: almanachdegotha.org

My daughter’s 8th-grade History and Geography teacher is teaching Ancient Civilizations this year. She gives some cool homework assignments.

Recently, R had to write three journal entries from the point of view of Emperor Wu, of the Han Dynasty.  Each entry had to be six or seven sentences long and they had to include three innovations.

The innovations R refers to are: the establishment of tests which would show who was most skilled for a job, rather than giving it to the oldest person; Wu’s continuation of work on the Great Wall; and opening trade with the West, resulting in the Silk Road.

Rather than researching above-mentioned innovations overly much, R managed to get her six to seven sentences per entry by focusing on being the emperor. It may not be A-worthy, but it cracked me up.

February 2, year unknown

Today some people came to my palace to take the test. It will be the biggest test they ever take, because it will show whether they are good at the job they want to do. It feels annoying to have random nobodies come into my palace with enthusiastic faces. They should act like this is serious. Just a minute ago a group of people passed my room. One of them looked in here, like it was just anybody’s room. Can you believe that! I mean, it’s already rude enough to be walking around my palace like it’s a school tour.

December 11, year unknown

Today my explorer came back, so we sat for tea and talked about what he saw. He saw some amazing things. Like great civilizations. For example, I now know that they really like pillars in Parthia. I also found out that the West wants to be friends with us. I think I’ll accept that.

June 26, year unknown

I’m so proud of the Great Wall of China. It’s really great. Or so I heard. I haven’t actually gone there yet. I will go some day when the weather is right. I don’t want to be there with the snow or heat. I’m too amazing for nature’s weather.

Grackle Haiku

grackles 2_edited-1

Grackles

From high on the wires
A cool rain shower of sound
sizzles on tarmac

 

Migraine Haiku

migrainePiercing, slashing glare,
Mute explosions, crushing blows,
Silent, violent pain.

The Evening Picnic

image: theguardian.com

image: theguardian.com

Today’s prompt for NaPoWriMo was to write a poem including words from this list of seashell names:

Peruvian Hat, Snout Otter Clam, Strawberry Top, Incised Moon, Sparse Dove, False Cup-and-Saucer, Leather Donax, Shuttlecock Volva, Striped Engina, Tricolor Niso, Triangular Nutmeg, Shoulderblade Sea Cat, Woody Canoebubble, Ghastly Miter, Heavy Bonnet, Tuberculate Emarginula, Lazarus Jewel Box, Unequal Bittersweet, Atlantic Turkey Wing. Continue reading

Disorder: With A Wink To William Blake

OCD’s not my personal bugaboo, it just worked for this poem for NaPoWriMo.

image: mnn.com

image: mnn.com

Disorder

Pillows, pillows, teal and red,
Against the headboard of the bed, Continue reading

It’s the Honest Truth

A poem for NaPoWriMo.

earth

The sun revolves around the earth,
Something’s wrong with Obama’s birth,
The dinosaurs missed Noah’s ark, Continue reading